Cos I had a bad day.

Today was my aunt's wedding but it was like any other day to me. The moment I saw the number of shoes outside the house, I felt like shit. I hate crowds. Especially in enclosed areas. So many unknowns around. Didn't help that I felt so unwanted, bored to tears, useless and invisible that I had to get out of the place immediately after the ceremony was over, rather than giving everyone fake smiles cos I didn't feel like smiling AT ALL. Okay, so not immediately, I tried to stay and endure, but noooo, I couldn't take it.

Even the housefly probably felt more welcomed than I did. I left the house, and couldn't bring myself to go back in to face all those people and feeling useless again. So I left to meet Ili in town, which was ten times better than being in that house. UGH. Blame it on the hormonal imbalance okay. Period coming what.

Going to your relative's house can either be fun or a total bore. To me, most of the time its HORRIBLY BORING, I'D RATHER SLEEP AND ROT AT HOME IF I COULD. I'm not even remotely close to my cousins, I don't feel any connection with them and I hate trying to act as if I did. I can't talk to them cos they seem so different. Different cultures, perhaps. blonde dudes, mats, rudies, WTF?! Plus, I speak English, not Malay. The last time I could be considered quite close to them would be uh, in primary school?

Okay, my bro just told me I was lucky that I didn't stay. AND I DON'T FEEL THE LEAST BIT GUILTY FOR LEAVING ANYMORE. HA.

Bloody hell, I hate weddings. I hate family gatherings. Now I don't feel like getting married cos I'd hate all the fuss. Maybe I should just elope. Ha.